How did Aunt Carol wipe down the table, or pick up her coffee, or look up from her knitting to answer a question? Did she have quick movements, slowly sip and loop her thumb through the handle of the cup, squint as she thought of her reply? Did you notice then? Does someone remind you of her? If you don’t exactly remember, and she is no longer around to check, I will say it is ok to imagine these details in order to flesh out her character. You knew her, and your written portrait will reflect your experience of her in your life. My family was imbedded in me, and even though they had passed, I heard their voices in my head as I wrote.
Details are the life blood of both fiction and memoir. Without the details of characters and place, we can’t create a world for readers. The work may wind up being two dimensional, lacking depth.
There are some exercises that can help you develop your skills at paying attention to detail. I came late to writing creatively, although I spent a good deal of my career as a copywriter and marketing writer. Something that helped me was to carry a small notebook and record the habits of people, conversations, or the way the sun reflects on white marble steps.
Make an assignment for yourself the next time you go to a coffee shop. Pick a couple of people who are engaged in conversation and write down what they say for five or 10 minutes. Or, just focus on their movements. How do they differ in the way they prepare their coffee or snack? Are they juggling notebooks or pocketbooks, jackets or babies? Write down as many specifics as you can. Then write a physical description of two people in the shop, focusing on one or two identifying details.
Another day, concentrate on the environment and what you see at different times of day on a walk, or as you go about your day. Don’t forget to record the way it makes you feel as the sun sets over the lake, or the clouds threaten. These are building blocks for story.
This may seem like something that won’t help you develop your memoir at hand, but I believe it will. Try it at least once a week, with no relation at all to your personal story. I am betting your writing will change and become more nuanced and layered.
An excellent pointer. I have oddball scraps of paper and torn corners of notebook paper with impressions such as you've mentioned which I have jotted down over time. I have fallen away from doing this and your post reminds me to be more aware and make more notes!